About growing up -just skip this one

I feel useless sometimes.
I can play the piano, but I can't even read the partiture. And I can't make a song. Yeah, no doubt about it. You said I can do this and that and this and that. And once you put me in the situation whereI have to do something that you thing I can do but in fact i can't do it well, my brain distorsed and I can't hardly sleep.

You said my english is good,but ooooh God, can't you see? This super duper bad grammar?
Even my lil cousin can do better!

however, now i'm feel like a half-grown bird flying.Trying to get out from the cage. Become a rebel. Turn to someone else, feels like no one could beat my temper. Oh, I don't like the phase to be grown-up.My stomach started to growling every time I have a chit-chat with the-6-vocals-on-it-names, try to throw up that feeling.Thinking about my future.
Lack of estrogen? yes please, if it can make me stop thinking about that, scrub it from my mind.
Is it normal?

And I started to be afraid to losing my friends in XE.
So weak, I feel upset now.